Typophile
Typography jokes
A kid was often confused,
When setting his p's and his q's
He was very keen on qleasing the pueen
Who wasn't entirely amused!
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Personal Art and Design Portal of Ivan Gulkov
www.ivangdesign.com
I don't don't watch adds really, but the one in the bottom middle called Legal Copy really made me laugh. And it has type in it!
From the Joy of Tech:
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Not bad, but type jokes are rare so I'll take what I can get.
Two “i”s walk into an hbar. The first i says. I was just ticketed for j walking! The second i says, eszet so! As long s you didn’t get a rested, you can put yourself @ “e”s.
ChrisL
Gerry and Klimis walk into a Packed bar in Warsaw and order Gin and Monotonic. Adam Twardoch is in a nearby booth amorously involved with a young lady. Their mutual flirtations become vocal and obvious enough that everyone in the bar is complaining to the bartender. The bartender says something in Polish to the passionate couple. Everyone in the bar cheers. Gerry and Klimis don’t understand Polish so they ask the bartender what he said. The bartender replies, I just said to them “Oh go neck in the park!”
ChrisL
Can't blame Adam, that Karen was a really hot chick.
"that Karen was a really hot chick."
or better, that Caron was a hacek :-)
ChrisL
Back in spite of popular demand:
Optima walks into a bar and says "Tino sent me."
Bartender says, "Any Palatino is a pal 'o mine!"
And as long as we're on the "walks into a bar" genre, there's also my pangram version.
Funny type jokes
As opposed to the un-funny type?
(hahahaha)
-=®=-
mailbox mailbox open milbox! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3k5oY9AHHM&feature=player_embedded
…but I did not shoot the deputy.
:o)
"You seem somewhat obsessed with fonts" :D :D :D
. 
Luckily, I gave my wife flowers ;-)
Cross posted from a hilarious thread on Chuck Norris:
How do you get a web designer off of your front porch?
Pay for your pizza!
A spectacle of baldy matched Romance:
A Serif that made out with a Sans.
One more:
Make sure to type sorts squarely in the face,
To ease the lockup of a strenuous chase.
Someone else: “It's not the font, but how you use it that counts.”
Me: “Meh. That’s just something people with small fonts say.”
Oops, that should've been:
Make sure to HIT the TYPE squarely in the face,
To ease the lockup of a strenuous chase.
"Good Times, Bad Times?" When did Led Zep start comparing Times variants?
Two periods were crossing a road. One got run over by a car. The other one turned around and said: "comma!" ;p
A type designer was feverishly designing a new font. He had been ignoring natures call as long as he could hold it off. Just as he finished the "O" ran to the bathroom to relieve his overfilled bladder. When he was almost finished, he stopped and ran back to his computer saying, "I have got to go make a P!"
...
Weren't these supposed to be funny?
Facial font:
Since we're now posting video links, here's the most elaborate type joke ever.
Client: “The ‘V’ is too pointy. Can we get a ‘V’ that isn’t pointy?”
Me: “An un-pointy ‘V’ may start to look like a ‘U’…”
Client: “We don’t want a ‘U’. We want a ‘V’ that doesn’t have a point.”
——
From clientsfromhell.com
"Poke them in the eye with a pointy stick" ;-)
The file of P22 Dada is called "P22 Dada UltraDemiBoldMediumObliqueCondensed.ttf"
/me looks at font name...
/me falls over with swirly eyes.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me
A hilarious song by Weird Al and a great example of kinetic typography.
Yes, Té. I am with you on that. Dat B Dada Dude ;-D
This sketch from xkcd is not really about fonts, but they are honorably mentioned:
Normally I am opposed to censorship but not having seen anything explicit written here I shall concede!
A typography teacher I had bought a jacket the had KE on one side of the zipper and RN on the other.
Here is something along the same lines...
From Clients From Hell: http://bit.ly/pgR1QL
Movie title
Friends with Benefits (2011)
Type joke at
~19:40 (delivered by Woody Harrelson)
funny.
This is not strictly a type story or even a joke, but it did happened while type was being stripped into a paste-up.
the layout artist cut his finger. Very badly with the Xacto Knife.
The hovering art director was very fortunately able to jump in and deftly snatch the art boards away before the bleeding artist got blood all over them.
@wmuench: You mean this one?
Been there, Russ ;-)
Standard Veer. A friend bough it, it was too big for her, so I got the gift. Thanks Leigh.
Nice to see the Onion is hip to our thing ;-)
...a jacket the had KE on one side of the zipper and RN on the other.
I have a Fontzone shirt with 'Warning: kerning in progress' helpful written on the back.
F gold. Was that original material?
Craig, that split my jaws from ear to ear! Were I 20 years younger I'd said "LOL"!
(Just the other week I told a funny to a 20 yr younger girl, tryin' to impress her with my Adult Wit. It was a kind of letdown she actually said "lol".)
No, I saw it on Facebook.
The internet memes that involve type are the best ones. Also funny(ish).
Were I 20 years younger I'd said "LOL"!
Were you 20 years younger you probably would have missed the reference!
Were you 20 years younger you probably wouldn't know to use the subjunctive like that, either. :^)
Not actually a joke:
Well, this is not a joke. It actually happend but it's funny and it envolves a font...
A close friend of mine is a type designer (we will be refering to him as Al) met a nice girl at a party and started going out with her. She told him that she was moving to another city in a week so they shouldn't fall in love. He agreed.
A few days before she leaves I ran into Al and asked him how he was. I know he is the kind of guy who easily falls in love. He told me he was ok, that he is well aware of the girl's situation and that he is not in love with her.
Two days after she left Al showed me a new font he was working on.
I said to him: "Al, you are such a liar! I told you, she told you and everybody told you not to fall in love with her!!"
"But I'm not in loved!" he replied.
To what I said: "Al, you named your font after her..."
Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type."
Comic Sans walks into the Better Business Bureau. The bureau says "We don't want any Funny Business here!"
Did you make that up?
Vince Connare walks into a bar and orders a drink. Several other customers pack up their things and leave.
"What's that all about?", I asked the barkeeper. "Well", he said, "some people just don't like his type."
Yes, Christopher! I always write my own stuff, I just can't help it--it just happens!
How I Met Your Mother, Season 7, Episode 6, 12:40 = font joke.
... my Adult Wit ...
On further reflection it might have exposed me as A Dull Twit.
In a few years the cartoonist will be hailed as a visionary.
Té, it will be interesting to find the originator of the idea (admitting it was a single person): http://typophile.com/node/75092
How do you fix fraktur? Ductus tape.
hhp
How do you fix fwackur? DONALD Ductus Tape ;-)
This looks promising: https://twitter.com/#!/ShtDesignersSay
Zero walks up to 8 and says, "Nice belt!"
Infinity says, "I feel like I could go on forever."
Zero Frutiger Light walks up to 8 Frutiger Black and says, "Nice Black belt!"
I'm a big fan of The Perry Bible Fellowship. Heres a typography-related comic:
Were I to make a font by hijacking glyphs from all over the Kingthings fonts, would that be a King's Ransom?
Today's xkcd
Snh. Snh. Snh.
From http://shirt.woot.com. I posted a link previously, but here’s the picture in case the link gets borken in the future.
*groan* I just got a house-painting flashback...
Paint the fence!
:)
Buxom walks into the bar.
Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve shady characters."
What do you call Bodoni's buttocks?
"bodonkadoni"
Chris quoins his own material.
Tim
:-)
How does a vampire space out his type?
By Blood Type
If you can drive a stake between the characters you have gone too far.
Tim
blood leading
Good one!
Ah, passiveaggressivenotes.com, always good for a laugh...
tweeted by @Typophile — “And a big thanks to our favorite couple Clarendon.”
For better or worse I'll take credit for the Clarendon joke.
One of the better ones I’ve heard in a while.
I hear Clare and Don terminated their relationship. Clare ran off to Memphis.
And Don is writing schoolbooks now.
hhp
Really? Memphis? I thought she was Egyptienne.
Actually, Memphis was the name of an ancient city in Egypt! Isn't that ionic!
It may be ionic but it isn't corinthian ;-)
Wow, I need to brush up on my City studies or I'll keep making the same mistakes. This time it was Egyptian, next time's Roman!
That's New.
Insert joke here…
Timing is everything. Can you post the pic on the off chance the link goes 404? Which, sadly, many I have have. #tautology
as you wish
Please tell me I’m not the only one that got the Chicago (typeface/city) reference…
Chicagoerfonts?
Anyway, shouldn't it be something like:
- "Hamburger."
- "Do you want fonts with it?"
Is that what they meant with the word 'hamburgefonstiv' having had an impact?
Reminding me... In the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion there is much talk about something called the Second Impact. So Who the F* redrew Impact?
Go to the xkcd comic and rollover the guy’s head.
It’s funny because it’s true. You know who you are…
And before I’ve had my 1st cup of coffee. That’s just mean. Not sure if its in here somewhere, but this made me think of xkcd’s kerning cartoon.
Look five posts up.
hhp
Thought it sounded familiar. More coffee for me.
(Posted in comp.fonts by Dick Margulis)
- Herb
LOVE THAT!!!
A series of animated gifs from another Typophile thread — #FontLife.
Type jokes?...If you speak spanish, then it's enough to mention Andale Mono.
That one is actually from a school friend, makes me feel nostalgic...
Get some tissues because this put me in tears all the way to the end.
More about alphabets, the ÆØÅ
http://youtu.be/f488uJAQgmw
Sorry if this offends Americans!
I LOVED that, Mili!!!
Another bigger is better example :-)
Chris, I've got a picture of the actual village name plate in Wales somewhere. Not in a digital format, I'm afraid. Amazing name!
Mili,
Please post it if you can find it?
Oh well—
I guess spelling and punctuation went out with the mustache cup…now, you can't tell whether people are post-literate, or merely idiots…
“Sorry Officer, I had no idea how fast I was going.” — Shinn, N. (2012).
Six cartoons:
Apart from Capitalist Bastard they need a new stock of cartoons.
Tim
Cropped snapshot from a browser:
Error page made by yrs truly.
Text by Kestral (ep. 118771 on the Anime Addventure)
Fonts (Switzera) by Hirwen Harendal
Introducing the Whatever Mark. Suitable for use wherever punctuation is appropriate. Recommended for situations in which you cannot decide between existing punctuation options.
My contribution for today: A furball of three different serifs by yrs truly.
@rseitz: Can I get that in a script please?
;P
From today's comic section.
- Herb
H&FJ put up a link to FYTD on Facebook. I had a few chuckles and thought I'd share the joy here, especially this one …
Sadly, not much these days. But a number of successful fonts* did "grow up" here. In fact I would trade Satyr** for quite of bit of conventional fodder developed hermit-style.
* http://typophile.com/node/99708
** http://typophile.com/node/81129
https://monokrom.no/fonts/satyr
hhp
That's all the cringeworthy stuff I have at hand now. Fonts and faces from Arkandis, lazy TT conversions by me, layout in HTML/CSS.
Story: Violence Inherent in the System by Darth Drafter, the sequel to The Girl Who Loved. These stories are multicrossovers that combine Harry Potter, Sailor Moon and Ranma ½ into one storyverse.
A Typophile father http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhMWyF2t-Wc&feature=youtu.be
S*it nobody says — It happens at 00:10. You’ll know it when you see it.
´Sup guys, I'm neue around here. Had a total blast reading this thread. Most entertaining :)
Type or die!
What's the Dark Side of the Force? Force Bold.
hhp
What is the Dark side of the Mafia? Force ital
Good one!
hhp
I sometimes sig my emails with:
Thank you for choosing typography™
You don't choose typography, Chris. Typography chooses you.
The Comic Sans song (JWKTJE remix) (00:03:42)
Captured from web.archive.org on 20 Aug 2017. view this capture