The curves of the S fall flat compared to the P and the O. open up the spine on the top and bottom so they aren’t so pointy and in keeping with the geometric goal.

I also wonder if the terminals of the S should be horizontal rather than the 30º.

Arlo is dead on about the S. I think you could add a little more overshoot to the N. The middle horizontal stroke of e is really bugging me; it’s the combination of it hanging so low and being so long that it draws attention from th other letters. Also, I think the curves on P are a little too tight to fit with the O, try rounding it out some more.

Really excellent advice all around. I need some objective and fresh eyes. I have looked at it for too long.

The ’S’ was bothering me a bit but I was not sure if it was just me. Arlo: what do you mean by ’open up the spine’?
The terminals on the ’S’ I really like being at 30’s - especially since it feeds into the ’E’ on the lower terminal.

James: I was afraid that raising the middle stroke on the ’E’ would look like it was almost centered, but not quite. It also has to work with the ’P’ which I would not want to raise the top any more (sorry for the lack of type terminology). You are spot on about the loop in the ’P’ though.
The ’N’ is a bit narrow I agree.

Any more crit welcome.

Sorry for the delayed response. Life has a way of getting carried away.

If you look at the inside left curve at the top of the S and the inside right curve at the bottom, they don’t feel circular. If you open up those counter spaces it will bring the S to a more comfortable place in relationship to the O and P.

OK - Sorry for the double post guys - I final;ly found the original thread. I am currently working on the redesigned version using all the above advice.

Was just wondering if any lurkers had 2 cents to add as I work?

Thanks,
Jay

Here’s the reworked type:

I have shortened the crossbar on the ’E’ to make it less noticeable. The ’S’ has been reworked to make it more circular and so has the ’P’. Finally, I have extended to ’N’ to give it more visual symmetry.

As always, your input and advice would be appreciated.

Hmmm, I would just buy Christian Schwartz’s Neutraface, you will get a well drawn typeface that way.

Sorry Jayyy, but Höfe is pretty much right. You could also start with Futura & modify as necessary.

—K

Neutraface is awesome and obviously was the starting point for this. I do not own Neutra though so this is all hand drawn. Because of this it is even more geometric with less minor modifications than Neutra which has to work as a complete typeface and not just a logotype. I needed higher crossbars - but not centered. I needed a perfectly circular ’O’ and a bigger ’P’ that looks more like the ’O’. The ’S’ is also a little too closed in Nuetra AND - I got no cash to buy expensive type :)

Futura was never a consideration - but the first face I thought of when I thought of this.

I really want this to work and not because I will not buy Neutraface - it’s not quite right for what I want. I have given it a lot of consideration.

My biggest worry is that like what you say Hofe and Kris - I have in some way drawn a ’bad’ logotype. I don’t want to spend endless time working on a logotype which people will look at and say “why didn’t you just buy Neutraface?”

Don’t give in to Neutraface. although it’s a beautiful face, nothing beats hand lettered type. Keep working it until you have something unique. I would try adding the slightest bit of stress to your strokes. that will move it away from the pure geometry of Futura and Neutra and give it a bit more handcrafted feel. But keep it subtle you don’t want to end up with Optima.

Lance Kagey, Beautiful Angle.

How did this ever turn out Jay.

Lance Kagey, Beautiful Angle.

Still working on it Lance. I got a little distracted as I started to work on concepts for web. I will definitely upload revisions when complete (next week).

I would still love anyone’s two cents on this (good or bad). I understand that to some of you this may seem like re-inventing the wheel, but I would still like to hear that if that is all. Even better would be any ideas on issues with the letterforms.

Right now I see some issues with the optical width of the top and bottom strokes on the ’S’.

Many thanks,
Jay

I really like this, but the S is still nowhere near done. It looks like the halves of two entirely different esses stuck together.