FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Monotype Imaging Holdings (NASDAQ: TYPE) a Delaware, USA corporation founded as Lanston Monotype Machine Company in 1887 acquires Lotus F1 for USD 50 billion in cash.
The new livery seen during testing ahead of the Shanghai Grand Prix.
Former Lotus F1 owner Proton was unavailable for comment on its divestiture, however sources close to Monotype indicate that driver Romain Grosjean, contracted to Lotus F1 for an undisclosed number of seasons was the type founder’s principal intended asset acquisition. According to recent research by Dr. Shelby Greendler, head of the Communication & Edumacation Program at Lambada College in Vancouver, Canada, Grosjean is a direct descendant of both Philippe Grandjean, the personal typeface engraver of French monarch Louis XIV, and famed former Monotype employee Beatrice Warde (resulting from an extramarital affair while using the assumed identity of Paul Beaujon).
Greendler has further uncovered that Grosjean changed his surname from Grandjean in order to evade persecution by Alphabetties, a typeface aficionado group seen by some as a shadowy militant-feminist font cult engaged in stalking masculine type designers. Five court cases against Alphabetties members are currently pending and the Type Directors Club of New York is eagerly anticipating its key figures to face arrest as early as May of 2023. In a controversial allegation however Greendler has been fingered as a secret founder of Alphabetties, with detractors claiming she is now running a splinter paramilitary training operation known as Type Kamp.
Press photo of Romain Grosjean.
Grosjean, a covert member of Association Typographique Internationale welcomed Monotype’s acquisition, revealing his previously undisclosed ambition of eventually moving up from his Super-License to designing fonts. However team sponsors Renault S. A., Clear Anti-Dandruff and Rexona Deodorant have expressed concern that the move might adversely impact their ability to leverage their own typographic assets. Renault in particular is threatening legal action centered on former employee Pierre Étienne Bézier’s reputed patents covering the mathematical definition of curves, which Renault claims are relevant to a few Monotype fonts.
Concerning the future of Grosjean team-mate Kimi Räikkönen, sources within the Formula 1 industry indicate that renewal of his driving contract is contingent upon a change of name to Italique Hämäläinen. However according to the same sources Räikkönen’s manager Steve Robertson has made it clear that his client would not accede to being a subordinate driver.
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