Adam,

You should post this on the design or Critique board. You'll get more responses.

DeWitt

Your logo is effective, wonderful.
Please use it within an area you can call 'respect.'
Best,
AS

Alessandro has a good point - the logomark and the typographic elements compete with each other too much. my first thought was to see the brackets in a screen of black to push it back a little visually. But, When i see what Alessandro has done I think it works just fine without the brackets.</font>

Alessandro, you are right; the typographic elements, the logo, and the other graphics seemed to be at war with each other.
Mike, I am interested by what you said about the "brackets behind a screen of black". Do you mean a black zone behind logo and bracket?
Thanks for all of your help, A and M.

Hey Adam,

I don't think this was mentioned, but you want all the important info to be on the front of the card, you can't really count on the recipient turning the card over.

By screening the brackets back, he meant turning down the opacity so they were a lighter tint.

Everything on the card could still be smaller, right now, the logo has alot of visual impact, but so does your name, which doesn't need to be that big. I do have a tendency to go towards smaller type, but large copy just looks bad.

Good luck.

It looks great, but my comment would be to thin up the lines of the logo and brackets. They are way too heavy and that's one reason they compete with the text. The suggestion to screen them back would also help alot.

That's right. I meant that you should try them at a percentage of 100% black. So, they would be more of a grey and not as powerful visually.

Just a thought - not certain how it would look ...

Yes

Here is my most recent version. Thank you all for the wonderful discussion.

Sorry - resolution was too high. Here it is.

I want to keep the type animated on the card - so I have left the rotated info and tried to create some white space. Do you think that there is still a weakness in the layout? I am not sure but something in the composition still feels a bit awry.
Sorry for the small pic - I wanted to keep the resolution down and went a bit overboard.
Dana, you are right, though: I liked the brackets and may try to introduce them on the screened background, as Mike suggested.

Here's a bigger version.

You now have a rather akward gap in the center of your card. Remember that a b-card also needs to be a piece of utilitarian design. Looking at your card, I wouldn't know which way to hold it.

Also, have you considered reducing the logo? It's a very nice logo and I don't think it needs to be 'shouting'.

Sorry if this is getting ridiculous. I have considered all of your comments and finally have this one-sided (thanks David) revision to offer.

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