First one.

First one, the other one reminds me too much of 20th century fox for reasons I'm not entirely sure of:

[Bad link]

First- however I do wonder what it's about.

I deliberately looked at the logos first, then read your comment.

Just an idea, not really a great mockup even, but incoporates the full name in the same.

mrgraphics: If I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. Enough said?

Michael; I too like the first version, but something needs to be done to ensure it doesn't feel like a swastika. Color should solve that; perhaps even just 50% gray would add a touch of class and sleek elegance. I picture it as a zipper pull and embroidered in a nice steely, silvery gray.

...did I do something wrong? It's only an idea...

As a designer I like 1st option much better. The second option is too straight forward that is why I think non-designer like it more...they don't like the guessing game.

The mark is great imo. I would be interested to see how the word "Fourmation" is position around it.

I like the first version. For some reason the "4" in the "O" throws me off, and at first glance it looks like an "A."

mrgraphics: I was just saying your version just doesn't work. It's inexplicably forced, totally illegible unless it's huge, and your placement of the word "fourmation" awkwardly breaks the flow and boldness of the graphic.

But, since you asked....it is considered by many here on Typophile to be bad form to post design revisions of somebody else's design-in-progress. If the re-design you post turns out to be a great idea, it puts the commissioned designer in an untenable position: either stealing your design work, or, being forced to abandon a great idea because they don't want to steal another designer's work.

It's an ethics problem, if not a question of personal integrity. So, if you have a helpful idea, it's best, IMHO, just to write your idea rather than post a revised design. Plus, writing helps develop your ability to communicate graphics verbally, and that's something invaluable when dealing with clients.

I understand now.

For what it's worth, I think the first is just a bit too much like the Umbro diamond for comfort. As it's going on sportswear, that would make me twitchy.

I agree that the first option is the best, but I keep looking for a '4' in the negative space, and getting an 'H'. Especially once the name is revealed to be "Fourmation".

- Lex