Hmm.. Am I the only one reading 'sevo'.?

I like version '4', but maybe you should try to simplify the 'r', even more.?
( Particular if its ment to be used as a TV channel identity, I think the logotype should be as simple, clear and minimal, as possible.. )

( Also ich haett beim ersten hinsehen wirklich erst mal 'sevo' gesehen / gelesen, zumindest bei 1 - 3, aber vielleicht gehts ja auch nur mir so.. Vielleicht ist das 'r' einfach nur zu detailliert und 'verschnoerkelt', im Vergleich zu den anderen Zeichen.. Und gerade bei einer TV Sender ID / einem Senderlogo wuerd ich sagen, lieber so klar und einfach, wie moeglich, gestalten und halten.. Ansonsten gefaellts mir gut.. )

"r' looks too much like a "v". Make characters interact more.
also too much negative space between "r" and "o".

Hey! That wasn't supposed to go! See below.

Thomas, of the showing here 4 is the best: It looks like a single thing and is for the most part readable at a glance. As for the others: wrapping letterfroms or doing that kind of extreme interlocking of letters is a difficult challenge at the best of time but here it is made more difficult by the fact the medium for display is probably low resolution TV.

I would keep the monoline construction, remove the tail from the r (in a different role with some alteration it could be a very unique feature though) and bring the spine or waistline of the s down more. I'd also try squaring the nose of the e to give it more the feel of the s and o.

My personal preference would be to increase the weight, but the weight you have is (probably) okay.

When I look at the word it seems to decrease in size from the s down to the o. Small variations in glyph height can compensate for this like try making the o the tiniest bit taller.

Hope this helps.

Also...Does 'sero' mean something or is it a call sign like radio stations have: S.E.R.O? Also it doesn't really speak of education, and if that is important to meeting the requirement then I don't think this would be sufficient.

Jon

Danke David, Thanks Ole and Jon for your advice! I have already applied some suggestions.
I tried to make the letters interact more in lowering the waistline of 's' so its on the same height as the nose of 'e' and so on.

I'm still tweaking the weightier versions, but your thoughts on the designs are appreciated.


'Sero' is a metaphoric/artificial name (latin: to sow, plant).
The name mark itself does not have to speak of education IMO (legibility on low tv resolution; how describe education while looking contemporary?). This Information and description would therefore be expressed in the remaining elements of the CI...

Bitteschoen.. From these new ones, I prefer version '5'..
( That said, I still also like the 'lowered' 'e', seen in version '6'.. )

Thanks for your feedback! I'm quite satisfied with the new 'r'. But 's' and 'e' as in '10' don't match too well, do they? Lowering the 's' as in '11' does not quite work and I like the lowered 'e' far more than the heightened 'e' from '5'...
Since I removed the tail from the 'r' the logo didn't feel characteristic enough. So I played with the 's'...

I like version '13', but I dont think it may work, and still be readable.. Sadly enough..
( People may see, or imagine, 'jero', instead.? But, I might declare, that its my favourite, so far.. )

The alternate s in 12 and 13 looks far too much like an A.

Thanks for your advice!
I have been working on different versions and feel quite convinced about the new version, posted below. Probably I need some time to let the logo rest and have a fresh look at it...

Hello,

WOuld you consider truncating the "r" a little? try cutting it a short way along its horizontal line (I'm not so good with my anatomy, so bear with me)

There is a large amount of negative space under the "r" that would then be closed up.

Also, have you considered adding slight curves to the terminals (the ends) of the s? this might make it lead into the curved edges of the "e" a bit better.

Hmm, that was my very first post outside of my own critique thread.

- Chris

Hi and thanks Chris for your suggestions. I think I got the idea what you meant by cutting the 'r' (making the letter narrower but keeping the stem thickness). Especially the negative space of the 'r' has worried me a little.
I will definitely try the curved edges on the 's' as well...

Hi Thomas,

what Christopher meant was to take away something of the "r"'s nose. It might be in the grid, since the end of the stroke is on same height as the "spine" of "s" or the "crossbar" of the "e". But it is just irritating, like it would fall to the right and touch the ground with its nose.

Improve your curves a bit, they're of track. Check out the typedesign tips from underware (www.typeworkshop.com). They have a section about curves (and driving cars, but they are far better at doing the first one)

Having talked of the "spine" already: keep it a bit thicker.

For all those tips you just might have to crawl a bit through the archives. Those tips are raised every now and then and I'm sure there's an explanatory graphic (Randygraph?!). Maybe someone even has a direct link.

Servus

Dominik

You might want to consider widening the characters
a bit, then giving the "o" the dimensions and shape
of a television screen. The other glyphs might need
to be adjusted similarly.

David

thanks all for your critique, especially the link to typeworkshop is very useful, Dankesch

That's looking much better. I prefer 16 over 15. You've really used this critique positively. Good work!

Aloha!
Scott

After spending some time in concept work related to the project I tried to optimise the logo furthermore.
The rounded base- and topline of the characters is now applied to the "s" as well...
Thanks Scott - that made me feel more positive about the tendency

This could be a good start for a complete typeface, right?