It doesn't look like any grid is in use, and a grid is paramount with this kind of aesthetic. Weights of fonts are all so close, that nothing stands out.. there is no sense of hierarchy.

Here is what I would do if I were you:

1. Create a grid (something that is flexible enough to allow for plenty of modularity).

2. Pay attention to spacing. Keep all the spacing even (or at least visually balanced)

3. Use variety in weight, and add color LAST. Color is often a false sense of hierarchy. If it doesn't work in B&W, it won't in color.

4. TEST your hierarchy by taking a screen shot, putting it in photoshop and adding a Gaussian blur. You should be able to pick out your 1st 2nd and 3rd levels, even though you may not be able to read them.

Maybe also try adding some solid or dotted rules to cut up the space. And don't be afraid of white space.

Hope that was mean enough ;)

evan m

http://www.evanmade.com

Big gap after the first line annoys me. The ampersand can hang, but why do the two THEs at the top not follow the left margin of the other bit. 2009 would probably look better if it matched the baseline and cap height line of the rest of the date. I wouldn't use oldstyle figures in a poster that is all uppercase. OSF are really upper and lower case numerals. NEW YORK is the largest type on the page. Is it a key fact? (IS there really only one P in Shepard?