I personally like it, in a total subjective, gorgeous letterform kind of way.
Maybe thicken the circular border slightly--but I like the rough sketched circle that isn't perfect.

The only part that bothers me is there's a bit of dead space in the center. With some tweaking of the letters that negative space wouldn't draw as much attention.

Thanks for your input! I should have added to my earlier post that potentially I see the oval as a solid shape behind the type representing an olive. But the outline idea could be an option too, thanks.

Yes, I am aware of the dead space in the middle. I will try and work that out later. :-)

Natalie

I like this very much however I am reading Humb Le Olive too.

I think the main reason that it might read 'Humb Le Olive' is the 'e's are lowercase while all the other letters are uppercase. So right away, the brain organizes the information—capital 'L' followed by lowercase 'e' makes it look like a separate word. It also doesn't help that the 'L' is much lower than the 'B' further separating it. The direction you're going is great though. Stay with it.

penn

looking really great so far. well done.

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Paul Ducco
Graphic Designer - Melbourne

Interesting.

Thank you all for your comments! I have made revisions - changed the "B" and "L" to lowercase and adjusted the spacing - and now I think (and I hope you agree) that it is working a lot better.

Thanks again!
Natalie

Your ells look like long esses.

- Lex

Your ells look like long esses.

Don't agree. This looks great.

penn

that is pretty damn nice! I really like the un-perfectness.

Charming! Top left of H might look a touch cramped.

I WANT A HUMBLE OLIVE!! One that stays on my pizza slice

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Paul Ducco
Graphic Designer - Melbourne

very nicely done. i also love un-perfectness, it add a human side.

Thank you everyone for your comments!

I have shown the logo to the client with a few other options. She was really happy with the choices I gave her. Not sure if she'll pick this one as she really like the another one as well.

I appreciate SO MUCH having this forum available. The ability to get input, advice and critique is so valuable.

thanks again!

Natalie

can we see the others too?

I'm left wanting more of your work! MOOOOORE!

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Paul Ducco
Graphic Designer - Melbourne

Hello!

The client loved my logo concept, so I have been working at digitizing it. Here it is... thoughts?

Thanks!

Beautiful work.
I really like how the top swirl of the "l" in humble, begins to look like the dimple of an olive.
I wonder of the letterforms could start to take on the rest of the form of an olive—more specifically the roundness.
If you did so, then you could loose the green shape and have the logotype take on "olive-ness"
Does that make any sense?

It's really nice work. Olive it!

My only complaint is that it somewhat loses a bit of the charme of the sketched one.

lovely!!!

This organicness of the first is lost

The M can read as a J

Slightly rounding the corners will recover much of it, I think. (Top of M looks especially mechanical.)

It's absolutely gorgeous and very envy worthy. I wish I could draw type like this!

This is spectacular.

Some ideas:

I would go with marcdavid and eliason and take an even closer look at the roundings. I think that the 'O' is very important for the overall impression the artwork is communicating. To support the olive-shaped background it would be nice to see it a little rounder. I also highlighted the other areas where I would make it a bit rounder.

Nevertheless this looks awsome and I would like to get my events planned by someone who's represented by this piece of art.

to clarify my earlier thought— i really meant taking on the roundness of an olive as in volume.
I know it's a quite an investment to explore, but it may be very interesting. although the letterforms you've designed are quite interesting themselves.
Maybe shifting the cross bar down in the H could help with the balance of that letterform. following is an illustration of my earlier comment.

it's a very nice mark. where will the event planner be located?

here's a good piece that's similar.

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sf/artwork/home-sweet-home-091994

Thank you everyone for your input. I agree that it has lost something from the sketch and I have worked a bit at rounding the edges. I want to work on it a bit more, but I won't have anything to show for a few weeks... as I said in my first post, the event planner is helping me with my wedding – which has arrived! I'll be off for the honeymoon until mid-September... and then I'll work on it again.

Thanks very very much for your lovely comments, it has boosted my confidence!!!

Natalie

oops ... i forgot to attach the screenshot in my previous post.