Make the b in books clearer.

I'm not sure about the white behind the guitar. It looks like an area of colour has been scraped off and the rather harsh white which is meant to be a background element becomes the focus of the whole poster.

I'd get rid of as much of that white area as possible, leaving something to outline the guitar, but then have the "books, music, gifts" in solid white.

I would avoid breaking the url, especially one that creates a double letter when joined, the lower and uppercase oneliner works well.

Books music gifts does get lost in the background, maybe there is merit in the icon approach, although I cannot see them clearly enough on you jpeg.

Don't flames have a negative connotation for Christians? I would imagine, if I were an interested audience member, that seeing a guitar burning gives the opposite meaning to the one your client wants to promote.

Tim

I’m not sure about the white behind the guitar

It functions to help the guitar 'pop' off the background, since the colours are pretty complementary. I see your point though. I might try removing it just to see where that goes.

I would avoid breaking the url, especially one that creates a double letter when joined, the lower and uppercase oneliner works well.

Breaking the URL for the 'headline' allows it to be displayed in a larger size, helping to communicate the store's identity from a further distance in a crowded hall.

But yeah, that is something that still bugs me, which is why I added the complete url in #4 - to reinforce the URL as a whole. I hope that mitigates the initial break.

I'll have to think about revising the icons.

Don’t flames have a negative connotation for Christians?

I'm sure they may have a negative connotation, especially for the more conservative set. The client's audience (with this banner) is primarily youths to young adults who are fans of rock music. We believe they are more likely to associate flames with passion and energy, than fire and brimstone. :D

Justin and Tim, thanks for taking time to share your thoughts.

Cheers!

I agree with not breaking up the url. I understand the thought behind visibility across distance, but bigger doesn't always mean better. Breaking up the url starts to diminish the recognition of it being a url in the first place. You want to keep the message simple, but breaking it up makes the person read the two parts, then mentally reconnect them on their own, it's not intuitive, even with the reenforcing of the complete url below it. You could also use a headline to promote the site instead of the url (i.e "Buy your music from the comfort of your home").

As for the white mess, it doesn't help the guitar stand out (I hate the word "pop"), from the background because it actually overpowers the guitar. If the guitar has a black outline or something to that effect, then the shape recognition would be stronger and it would cause more contrast.

Having the products offered layered so far in the back makes them become part of the background graphics, and no longer selling points. You could also use those with the icons for reenforcement.

Overall, it's a little busy, you may want to remove some of the additional wisps of white in the background. I think the forefront ones work well, but the background ones start to over saturate the piece. You might also want to consider loosing the burgundy ring of fire.

I'm sorry about your brief, I wish people knew how to write those. White, made of paper, and something you wipe you arse with doesn't tell me it's toilet paper, it could be anything.