Typophile

Corporate Babble-speak

Don McCahill

Another thread about Veer and Corbis brought me to this wonderful example of babble speak, which is 22% meaningless corporate air. http://www.corbis.com/corporate/pressroom/PressReleasesDet.asp?ID=71

The following were the words I found to be meaningless, or corporate catch phrases ... 131 words out of the original 596.

Leading Brands for Every Market Segment
creative resource
reaffirmed its commitment
a provider of visual elements and design-related products
strategic market approach
network of brands
accelerate its growth in the commercial space.
seizing this opportunity
period of market disruption
take bold steps toward capturing momentum
fastest growing, leading brands across the entire spectrum
leverage Veer’s brand
resonates strongly with the creative community
industry-leading integrated brand marketing capabilities
increase its North American market penetration
advertising and design space
its global infrastructure
to accelerate the growth
maintain distinct customer propositions
leverage cross-selling opportunities
industry-leading
accelerate our long term growth goals
bolster our ability to connect with creatives worldwide
innovating our business
long-term commitments
a “network” of brands
flagship brand
world’s leading rights services offering
preeminent collection
award-winning
help creatives diverge from the norm

Some people actually use that language to communicate with. I don't know how.

I work for a global professional services firm, and so see an *awful* lot of management- and business-speak gibberish. My current favourite is from an ad for Unisys which appeared several times in The Economist. It was a plain orange page with this block of text set in the centre:

UPGRADE YOUR BEST-CASE SCENARIO.
UNLEARN OUTSOURCING.
Even outsourcing's benefits have benefits. The best way to realize them is to unlearn your misconceptions about outsourcing. Unisys Outsourcing Solutions offer the proven processes, unique methodologies, and the innovation you need to manage risk, adapt to change and accelerate the benefits of your best-case transformation scenario. Our Solutions for Secure Business Operations can optimize your business performance and your competitive advantage. For maximizing your full business potential, outsourcing is a win-win scenario. Unlearning is just the beginning.

Fabulous, isn't it?

Ah yes, somehow they left win-win scenario out of the Verr release.

In Germany there is a site where you can choose among these bullshitting-modules ...
http://www.designphrasen.de

Less complicate sentences and nice to hear and see – ”the language of form” by Paul Rand ...
http://commercial-archive.com/node/140847

Well, that list certainly meets or exceeds my expectations of corporate BS...

Captured from web.archive.org on 27 Apr 2012. view this capture