Hi there:

truly natural bodycare = Emigre Tarzana Wide Regular

http://www.emigre.com/ot.php?id=124

http://www.emigre.com/fontpage.php?PTarWR.html

as for kiwi glow this a logotype probably based on an existing font(s) but I don’t know what these might be

Mike Diaz :-)

Sorry Mike - I think I was a little vague. This is MY logotype - The top is custom and the bottom is Tarzana Wide.

I am posting it here to get some feedback and critique.

The bottom of the g seems off. It looks squished.

Also a bit of visual tension between the k and i where they almost meet at the bottom.

David

Hi Jayy:

Opps sorry... The w is too wide and adnix is right out the g- looks too weird and is actually distracting. The straight to curve transitions need to be smoothed out a little bit better. The k need to be reworked- made narrower. I think maybe the stroke weight is a little too heavy?

I love the dots on the i’s- they looks like lemons.

Hoped I helped you.

Mike Diaz

The ’g’ is changing - I like the top part for now but I will try different versions anyway.

Mike -

Do you mean the top of the curves need to be straightened? Looking real close the top part of the curve maybe a bit jagged. I am happy with the general curve angle though. What do you think? They are supposed to mirror the dots on the ’i’s’

I was actually happy with the ’w’ - should I compare it to other typefaces to refine the proportion? I would have to reduce the angle of the arms to make it narrower as it is supposed to be geometric in proportion.

The more I look at the ’k’ the more I think it could be improved. To maintain it’s geometric appearance again I would have to reduce the 45 degree angle on the arms. What do you make of the descender on the ’k’? I feel it sits maybe a little uncomfortably but not due to it’s proximity to the following ’i’.

Thank you all for your invaluable feedback. Please keep it coming.

Jay

Hi again :

I’m not sure what you call it but when certain curves are not antialiased or hinted they look really rough.
I think but I’m not sure- the k would look better if the angle of the right part of the k was a little more ’open’. This would also mean that the w have to be more compact as well. This is a good thing because it will give the descender on the k more room with the i.

But there is something else that concerns me... The logo is geometric and extended and so is the “truly natural body care”. I think you should have the logo extended and text normal or condensed. The logo should be funky and the text a neutral sans. I think it would aid in better presentation of what the product does. Right now you might have two things competing with each other.

Will this be for a bottle, box, or the whole entire campaign?

All my best,

Mike Diaz :-)

Post your revisions when you have them.

OK, here are some revisions I have made. This logotype would be for an entire campaign to include a bottle, box, print collateral etc.

I have thinned the strokes and made it a little more condensed by reducing the ’k’ and ’w’.
The ’g’ has been updated to simple include a circular descender.

I am in two minds about the use of Tarzana for the ’truly natural bodycare’ tagline. I understand Mike’s comments about competition between the logotype and the tag. I have tried setting it in Helvetica and of course, it looks so neutral that it could not be obtrusive. For the purpose of this critique I have left it set in Tarzana as I feel I would prefer to use something that represented the overall identity and message more.

Let me know what you think.

Thanks,
Jay

Here it is with the text set in Helvetica

I still was unhappy with the descender on the ’k’. I think this one looks better.

I think, depending on the proportions of the bottle and box, you might need to develop a stacked version. I preferred the g in the first version as a starting point, the top storey could be smaller while the lower increases in height; I don’t find the w particularly wide but I think you can amend the central stroke by rotating it clockwise to close slightly the righthand opening and, more importantly, open up the lefthand; the strapline is rather small in proportion and seems to have no reason for its position, currently slightly too low and hanging out to the right.

Tim

The problem with the “w” isn’t that its width, it’s that it doesn’t appear as organic as the other letters.

I would ditch the swoosh jumping off from the bottom of the ’k’. That’s way too much.

Overall, the letterforms just don’t harmonize very well together. In a wordmark, either all the letters need to be equal in character or there should be one letter that’s carrying the quirks, with the others supporting it. You’ve got the ’g’ and the ’w’, and in some sense the ’k’ all fighting with each other for attention, while the ’i’ and ’o’ are bit players.

Look at the whole wordmark small as well. The connection between the top and bottom of the ’g’ is almost insignificant and may disappear. The ’g’ form has potential, but needs some work. Try making the bottom smaller than the top.

I finally got to make some revisions. I felt the strokes were too thin at small sizes so they have been increased slightly. The ’g’ is more fluid. The swoosh from the ’k’ is gone and I am still working on the placement of the tagline below.

Any feedback appreciated.

Jay

Better, but the G still stands out to me. Maybe because the lower half is larger then the top.

The “g” doesn’t stand out to me at all.

I’d try giving the endstroke of “k” a rounded inside corner.

>the lower half is larger then the top
Most two storey g’s follow that formula.
The word spaces need work and the tracking applied to the strapline is extreme, it is worth looking at it applied to a bottle to see if it is large enough, I would also look at overshoot for the o.

Tim

Thanks for the comments.

Tim - what do you mean - ’overshoot for the o’?

I was reasonable happy with the kerning of the letter spaces, but I have not worked on them much yet - which ones do you feel need work?

Most curved characters (doesn’t apply to your g as the top right already deals with it) are slightly above and below the x-height and baseline of other characters to compensate for the visual lack of height, probably easier to understand by comparing the characters of an existing typeface, most obvious at the base of the o, but I would add some to the top as well. The comment about the letterspace and word spaces was mostly directed at the strapline although the word space in kiwi glow is a touch wide for the tight kerning, in my opinion.

Tim

Here’s a mock-up of the box for the bottle.