Vertical proportions: I'd use the one from the top attempt - the darker one is too small on the body.
I think you need to make the forms less exagerated, like the "a" and especially the "e" are too far from the good norm.
The "s": they both work, in their weights.
Some people might tell you to make the stroke distribution "classical" in the dark weight - like give the "v" a thinner right arm. I like symmetrical weight in this sort of design, so I'd actually recommend keeping the way you have it - you just need to modulate it a bit to prevent a bunching-up of color.
BTW, I'd make the "m" less narrow.
hhp
Hi guys,
As can be followed in earlier threads, I'm working on my type called Nordic. Now I'm sketching on the 'textversion'. It will propably not become a real text face, but it surely should feel like it.
Can you give me some good critique. Is this the right direction I'm going? This are some very early sketches where I'm trying to find out if the type work well in the light and the fat extremes. The weights inbetween then propably work as well.
I want the fat version to be rounder, like a blown up balloon. The more light the weight, the straighter the verticals. Makes sence?
This is the first time I'm doing a textface so all the tips are welcome. I feel I'm not good in keeping the type consistent in it's details.
See the difference in the light and the fat lc 's'. Would you like it with or without the spurs?
I'm not really sure how to handle the horizontals (a, e, g, s). Should they be much thinner than the verticals, as you can see above, or should they be 'equally' thick? That would make it more fat and I would loose a lot of details.
Thanx,
Ren