Better than the last go around. Could you make some separation from the name and the tagline and the art. Leave the name in orange but make it a lighter orange to contrast better with the gray (tone wise they are to close), try making the tagline white or a tint of the gray and the artwork either white or tint of gray or orange. Make a hierarchy of what is important, like: Name number one, Tagline number two and Graphic number three. What is happening now is everything is vieing for the same attention.

Lighten the orange, then repost. It’s hard to see the design otherwise. But it is better, from what I can see.

When making an outline of a typeface it is usually better to have the outline on the outside of the original face because Illustrator and Freehand apply stroke to either side of the path in equal amounts (a simple way of doing this, in this case, is to have two layers one with double the amount of stroke required and the second above the first with a fill of the background colour). The audio device at the side looks a bit sonar, try rotating it to parallel with the type.
Tim

Timd is right but if you are working in Illustrator the way to do this is add a new stroke In the appearances pallet and make it behing the original stroke and make it larger. If you need a demo drop me a line.

Don’t use stroked type for the logo, especially when placed next to solid type. Even though the solid type is smaller, visually it has more weight and therefore draws the most focus, away from the brand name.

Develop a strong concept in black and white first.

You know in the FAQ for the critique should be adrix’s remark: Develop a strong…

You have all offered very helpful suggestions as usual! Thanks.

Dan and Timd, you are correct of course. I approached the outline the wrong way and ended up distorting the negative space inside the characters. You will find this corrected. My intent was not to outline the characters, as much as to fill the characters with a double line. Or rather to draw them with a double line in the first place. I could not figure out how to do this in Illustrator, short of carefully editing each character by hand, so I faked it with an outline. I believe this new version conveys the idea a little better.

It is meant to portray the look of the most popular type of fiber optic cable used. It is a duplex style (2 cables seamed together) in bright orange. If you were to have an install by this company you would most likely see this cable everywhere. And having seen the logo you will hopefully remember forever who did it.

Here’s the new version

Not digging the outlines still. I also think the tracking is too tight. The letters are starting to merge into one another and form different shapes.

Now the tagline is too light, almost to the point of “why should it be there”?

The fading audio boxes to the right of the O actually work against the logo. I believe they subliminaly suggest that the product is of low quality, since they are so weak and faded.

I do like what you have started with the O. It is developing into a mark. I would explore that further.

FIBERPACK AUDIO is 1970s tight. Its not a quick read, let it breathe, also put a full space between Fiberpack and Audio. Everything feels squooshed packed together if thats your intention you succeeded. The graphic is fading away did you try it in a lighter gray or white?

Ok try this one. I just pared it down to a white background to see how it works alone. I’ve adjusted the spacing and continued tweaking the O graphic.

New Version

Much better but ask your self how will this logo be used If it is going to be used in sizes smaller than your posts, the elements and type will fall apart or clog (printing). You might design it two ways Version 1 used for sizes above X and Version 2 on sizes below X or Version 1 used for web purposes only and Version 2 on printed material.

Outline is a little strong. What about just having “Audio” outlined and Fiberpack solid. May make it more legible and put stress on Audio. My 2 cents.

I appreciate all your comments so much.

I have not shown this logo to the client yet, but I feel he is going to like it alot. However in our last conversation he told me he would like to pay me more if I can give him several different designs to choose from. So I am posting 2 new designs. Please bear with me, I know I have posted alot on this project. :) Thanks!

Here’s all 3 latest designs

No vote on #2. It’s awkward looking. I guess if you refine the “loop” a little more it could be a candidate.

#3 is still the strongest, but those teeny, tiny marks inside the O will disappear at a smaller size, like on a business card.

#1 is too difficult to read and there are awkward joins between the two words. Something I want to point out-when “fusing” two shapes, letterforms or otherwise, you need to be aware of not only the shape you are creating, but the shape of the negative area as well. On #1, there is a weird negative space between the k and the upside-down A. Something to remember for future designs.

As regards to showing multiple designs, I tend to agree with the late Mr. Rand’s perspective. Show only one, and show the best. Don’t give the client an opportunity to choose an inferior design, because most of the time they will.

I agree with adnix. From a compositional perspective, #3 is by far the strongest — but the “O“‘s internals might get lost a smaller sizes. My eye tells me that there is perhaps too much going on around the “O,” which distracts from the typography.

You are getting the contrast and prioritizing aspect of your logo. Avoid gradients as in number 2 they cause production problems and it will come back to bite you. Number 1 looks like a mistake, Audio doesn’t read. As I noted before number 3 will fall apart or fill-in in small sizes. I also suggest trying to make anything you design work in black and white (tints of black are fine). The reason is any fatal design flaws can be hidden by color. Also test your designs at the smallest size you know they will be used. One last note do not let your client take a piece from one design and a piece from another design, that is how the Camel was made.

dan weaver said:

One last note do not let your client take a piece from one design and a piece from another design, that is how the Camel was made.

I agree. On a graphic design forum I frequent, they like to call that “Frankenstein-ing.”